Details of a Family’s Connections
We’ve previously seen suggestions in email traffic of a family beginning to fray – specifically Joe’s concerns that Dylan may be pulling away – and the possible remedies. Prosecutor Glenn Kirschner argued these notes suggested the defendant’s state of mind, and Judge Leibovitz seemed inclined to agree.
Kirschner also sought to introduce a number of cards exchanged between the Swann Street housemates; cards he said made the case for the defendant’s exceptionally strong emotional bonds. We now have those cards, and offer them for the record.
“Fill your paper with the breathings of the heart,” wrote the aptly-named Wordsworth. These cards are indeed filled with heart and emotion, but expressed in very different ways – appropriate, coming from very different people. There are cards from Victor to Joe, from Joe to Dylan, and from Dylan to Joe. There are no cards, however, from Dylan to Victor…or from Joe to Victor. For whatever reason, Victor seems to have been on the short end of the receiving-card count.
In our texting culture, the idea of selecting a special card, adding personal thoughts to it in your own hand, and handing it to another seems both antiquated and tender. We acknowledge the very private and tender thoughts contained here, and offer them with no disrespect to the feelings expressed.
The cards, and what they may say, after the jump.
Card 1 – on the cover, a sparkled illustration of a cat –
“Dearest Dylan –2005–
Couldn’t Help but think of you when I saw this card. I know you think you aren’t the same old you but to me you are & to me this card captures what you are to me & to my life — color, attitude, [fear], smartassedness — and excitement. You are magic to me & I know in this crazy and hectic life we live (or that lives us) I don’t say that enough. So lets make more time for us & to live and love.
All my love, Joe”
Card 2 – on the cover, dozens of happy frogs; the inside greeting: You make my heart leap (undated)
“I’m glad I finally found my Prince. And don’t try to get away or I’ll have to keep you in a shoebox with airholes and grass clippings – not nearly as nice as 1509 Swann. I love you and can’t wait to see what the next five years will bring. Yours, Victor.”
Card 3 – on the cover, the text Sometimes I love you so much I want to cry and rub margarine all over my gums.
“…or Crisco all over your lips! 🙂 11/09/05
Dear Joe;
Congratulations boy! It’s very gratifying to see your hard work, great skill, & big heart rewarded with this confirmation. May you have a long a prosperous career, Mr. Partner. And save the fun for us. W/love & admiration & a lot of pride.
Margarine lips, aka (Dylan)”
Card 4 – on the cover, a photograph of cattails by the water with the text Grow old with me. The best is yet to come. Elizabeth Barrett Browning. Inside is the greeting
Sometimes it seems as if we’ve been together forever, but we still have a lot of life to live. Together. Happy Anniversary.
Victor dates the card 3/24/06 and signs it “With all of my heart, Love Victor” and adds the following on the other side:
“Happy Anniversary Joe. I hope you know how much I love you. You mean the world to me. I can’t imagine my life without you. We’ve built a family together with the boys, Kim, Cathy, your brother and my family. Family bonds are very strong and I’m very happy that you and I have forged that bond.
I’ll miss you while your away for the next 10 days. I supposed absence makes the heart grow fonder…but hurry home my way!
Let’s celebrate together next year 😉 I think it’s good to plan ahead.”
Card 5 – on the cover, a photograph of Oscar Wilde and the text When people agree with me I always feel that I must be wrong. Oscar Wilde. Inside the card Joe writes:
“Dear Dylan –2006–
Not a common problem for me these days. 🙂 Sorry to fight – amusing in an odd way that we are arguing about spending time together. I admit I love spending time together and I confess that I (perhaps irrationally) I resent it when you choose to spend time alone or with others in lieu of spending time with me – particularly when I think you are doing it because you don’t like the circumstances which are often attractive to me, ie, big crowd, new folks, etc. That said, I dislike arguing with you more so I’m sorry and let us leave it at we agree to disagree – we are both hard headed and I suppose that is how we endure [unreadable] 🙂 Love, Joe.”
Card 6 – a blank cover. Inside, Joe writes:
Dear Dylan – 2006 –
Some people say you can achieve no greater accomplishment in life than having left the world a better place than when you came. If that is true – and I believe it is – than at the ripe old age of 36 you have already achieved greatness, as Virginia, and the lives of so very many, are so better off because of your leadership as part of the team that literally built EV. Without sounding too much like a fat-head, let me say again, I am so immensely proud of you and awed by your talent, determination and accomplishments. [continued on next leaf]
I realize moving on to the next challenge is bitter-sweet, But I hope as you turn the page you are both very proud of the history you have helped write and also excited of the prospect of things to come. Whatever adventures are next, know that we will always share them together, side by side.
All my love, Joe.
–posted by Doug
Is there a section in the Hallmark store for “Maintaining Innocence When A House Guest Is Murdered”?
No. But there should be a special stationary stand for correspondents who may need to write “empathy” and “victim” letters for their group therapy sessions designed to treat an array of addictions, including drug and/or sex ones.
Perhaps, a useful homework assignment for the life-long learner Dyl and his (former?) patron would be to write down apologies to all who they may have let down (by their actions or inactions in the year 2006, in particular) and to with whom they should have empathized. Of course, WMRW should be copied on those long-overdue missives.
wow-I don’t know what to say. Pitiful that we don’t have any from Joe to Victor. Did he not ever write any? Or did they not make it into the keepsake/memory box? I can see that what he might have said would have been hurtful to Victor trying to hold onto Joe, but who knows.
And, uh, margarine lips? Yuck. I’d insist on butter.
Chiffon margarine may have sufficed for many devotees of sexual liberation and exploration during the 1970s, thanks largely to the famous Mother Nature commercials. Dana Dietrich was simply divine as Mother Nature in those memorable spots.
Today “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter,” of course, would be my recommendation for whatever “spreads” that our boys are/were up to.
Somehow this all seems very sad to me. This is a mid-life crisis expressed in greeting cards.
I totally agree.
Sparkly cat is ever so much worse than I anticipated. Trying to get my head around someone actually picking it up and buying it, much less our Sub!Joe.
It shows a certain amount of imagination on Joe’s part to attribute the qualities of “color, attitude, fear, smartassedness–and excitement” to a sparkly cat. There must be something I am missing here (I am having trouble with the last three or four, in particular).
Chilaw, our cat has attitude, inspires fear (at times, of breaking a vase or anything fragile), can be a smart ass (especially around guests), and lends a bit of domestic excitement to the life of my husband and myself. He does not sparkle, however, and I do not think that he would take kindly to being covered with glittery makeup.
At one point, there were two cats in my household and they occasionally set off the motion detectors when the home alarm system was set. I do not believe the residents of Swann Street had any pets who could be blamed.
Curiously, I’ll wager that Dylan never let on that the real gulf between him and Joe was one of class. I know that world that Dylan comes from; you might call these people my tribe. Joe’s world is another world with many aspects to admire, other aspects that are useful to glom on to when one is “resting between jobs” or seeking a place to live with a living standard to which one is accustomed (Joe has money) but Joe is eternally the striver, the working class miracle but never a social equal.
AnnaZed,
You’re a bicycle salesperson (so you’ve written before) and that seems like a noble profession. Bicycles promote healthy exercise, less use of cars and less pollution. DW was essentially the kept man of a so-called committed couple who gave “full body” (his full body) massages to clients. He also studied literature and wrote promotional materials. Okay. His father happens to be a well-off surgeon.
I think you meant that your similarity was that you were both “to the manor born.” Maybe so. So was G.W. Bush, relative of Preston Bush who did business with the Nazis. So were the current Kennedy’s, descendants of bootleggers. Being born into money doesn’t confer “class.” I think that’s something that’s earned. Content of character and all that good stuff. If JP was “working class” (by whose definition and what standards?) and had a financial disadvantage to the one you and DW had and achieved what he did by working–himself–for it, that’s great.
If by class and tribe you are inferring something else and I misunderstood, please share. You might be inferring cultural upbringing. If that’s the case, once you enter the full-body massage phase of life with a torture chamber as part of your room’s furnishings, then you’ve broadened your culture a bit, likely never to return the innocence of the original sheltered one.
Susan, I think AZ is right here.
AZ, thanks for picking up the condescending vibe from Dyl’s congratulatory note. Mr. Ward sees himself as an aristocratic courtesan who does not want to get caught up in the drudgery that he thinks “Mr. Partner” does. “Leave the fun to us!” In actuality, of course, Dyl was the primary recipient of Joe’s newly-minted noblesse oblige — the job, the room, the collection, etc. But to Dyl or at least to Dyl catering to his patron’s sexual sensibilities, Joe’s still “boy”, even though he is publicly “Mr. Partner” from Arent Fox.
The choice of the words “Mr. Partner”, to me, is extremely ironic here. At home, Dyl would never become “Mr. Partner”, even though he may have aspired to be Victor’s replacement.
Note also that love is mixed with admiration and pride in Dyl’s closing, two qualities that seem to qualify and to diminish love. Dyl’s love for Joe, thus, may have been rather conditional and situational.
C’mon guys. First, it’s clear that Dylan’s use of “partner” refers to Joe having made partner at Arent and Fox, for which he congratulated him.
Second, actually, it does not appear that Dylan was “born to the manor.” His dad went to a lower tier local college (Portland State) and a local state med school (Oregon Health Sciences) and then took his training in the military (internship, residencies), requiring a payback of military service after training. (I presume part or all of his med school was paid by the military too, before the creation of the Uniformed Health Sciences University in Bethesda.) While he would not have had gazillion dollars in loans to pay back, he was indentured to the US military for a big chunk of time, including in Germany, not earning civilian bucks.
It takes years before his medical specialty starts bringing in the big bucks. Dylan started benefitting from that comfort later, not from birth. Plus, there were 5 children to educate (4 of whom went to college apparently).
True, dear Gloria, but it was perception, not reality, that counted in the bite-sized and ersatz “Hall of Mirrors” that was Swann. Dyl “acted” the part of the aristocratic, Anglo-Saxon scion; the reality was much more interesting with many of Dyl’s ancestors coming from the Balkans, of all places.
Being a smartass with attitude, at least behind closed doors, though, he probably took on some of the airs that he had witnessed at Georgetown and Hyde Park. And, of course, Needham and Di’s provincial fortune allowed Dyl the liberty to not be career-minded — a big step up and over his grubby liege lord, Culuket.
And Mr. Ward’s saturnine and anti-social ways merely added to the hauteur for which Mr. Price pined. Victor had real class, but Joe wanted something a little more bohemian and a lot less bourgeois. Hence, Dyl became, at least for 2005 and part of 2006, “the love of his life”, and we all know what happened next.
I hear you, Clio, but most of “Dyl’s” career-mindedness was geared towards the service of others (massage-full-bodied and otherwise, and cooking. The torture mighta been thrown in as a perk).
It seems that on the night of August 2, in addition to the relationship/sexual tension issues, there were job issues with three of the four known players:
1. JP’s promotion to Partner, with all the added pressures involved, but with additional status.
2. “Dyl’s” status demotion with the end of his career at Equality VA (at the same time JP’s term on the E-VA board ends)
3. Victor’s new job and his first-time visit to the nighttime staff at his job.
Wonder if that interesting dynamic of job issues in the forefront of these guys’ lives had anything to do with what happened that night.
Replace “Victor” with “Robert Wone” above
Joe actually made partner effective January 1, 2006. As I am sure others will attest, once you actually make partner, there is often a realization that “that’s all there is. It seems possible to me that Arent Fox may have leaned on Joe not to seek another term on the board at Equality Virginia (although it is clear Joe continued to do successful advocacy on behalf of gay and lesbian causes). Presumably, Joe was not in a position to cause Arent Fox to hire Dylan.
It would be interesting to know precisely when Joe placed the erotic photos on his work computer at Arent Fox (whether it was before or after he made partner in late 2005).
There’s Bumble Bee Tuna money in them thar hills, however.
If you, like me, were perplexed by this reference, I’ll save you the search. See the Feb 3 2010 post, “Motiveless.” Specifically, Nelly’s comment (green quilt, more than halfway down) on February 8 but also comments above and below, with some additional information about Dylan’s family background. If true, it appears that Dylan’s family (Gizdavich) may have had some distant relationship to Bumble Bee Tuna (dating to a 1962 list of a John G being VP of Bumble Bee Seafood of Oregon). Unverified.
Carolina: Will your brain/memory to science!!
If my memory is correct, I think someone mentioned later that Needham Ward’s mother later married Mr. Gizdavich. So perhaps it wasn’t that they changed the family name. Rather, the half-relatives just have a different last name.
Catty remark: “margarine lips”! *snicker*
Does the use of the term “boy” have any significance here? The intermingling of congratulations on making partner and “Crisco lips” is bizarre.
Well, isn’t the term “boy” frequently used by gay male BDSM tops during sexual encounters to describe and to delight their bottoms, who may happen to be middle-aged?
Crisco (as personal lubricant) is another sexual reference: Dylan thinks here that he is the ruler of the domestic or “fun” sphere at Swann via Eros, while Joe conquers the outside, competitive world. It is that unfortunate and bizarre intermingling of the private and public that led to intimate photos being on Joe’s work computer.
Their “love” apparently obeyed no boundaries, either of etiquette or of the law.
Isn’t the term “Mr.” frequently used by U.S. Navy folks? Could be a jab below the surface.
The Kennedy allusion has my wheels turning.
I’m glad to be returning to our banter here. Pardon my absence, but I was kidnapped by Stieg Larsson.
That happens a lot. Glad to have you back.
Yes, Deb, as per Victor’s card above, “grow old with us, the best is yet to come.” Kiss. C.
America isn’t supposed to have an upper class, but of course, we do. Modeled on the English model but like most American Anglophile things existing only as shadow facsimile. This is not Marx’s class war to which I refer but instead an arguably more complex code of social subtleties that might well have interested Edith Wharton with the exception that in present day American society it can hardly be said to actually exist outside of the minds of its participants . In England everything is so much simpler because most people conveniently play to type by speaking with the appropriate accent so that one can identify their social status within minutes of meeting them. For those invested in this delusion the primary markers are shared values, race and heredity, and not incidentally a certain investment in what defines erudition (whether you have it or not, though Dylan has this component in spades), culture and lifestyle and less a matter of if one has money or not. Money is considered vulgar to pursue and vulgar to speak of. Think of Joe’s “Mercedes, Mercedes, Mercedes” free-associating blather. Dylan would certainly frown on that.
Sociologists can have fun with the American version of this but to the players it is as real and obvious as if everyone wore handy caste marks on their foreheads. Just to complicate matters I will point out that Martha Stewart is a striver like Joe, maybe one of the most successful in history, but a striver nonetheless. The Southern expression “gentile poverty” comes to mind when explaining how a person could simultaneously be a prostitute and consider (without a trace of irony) that one is socially superior to a successful lawyer.
Scott Locklin does a better job than I can of deconstructing this in a very amusing way here:
http://www.alternativeright.com/main/blogs/zeitgeist/social-classes-the-upper-class-in-america/
(By the way I am pretty much convinced that the entire website where Scott Lockin’s writing appears is some sort of bizarre parody. It must be, mustn’t it?)
Bear in mind that one can be a pretender to membership in this tribe and still annex all of the sense of entitlement and all of the self aggrandizement that goes with it without genuine membership. In fact the attitudes and imperious assumption of prerogative of the model member of the American upper class are easily aped and work very well for keeping others perpetually off balance and subtly intimidated. Also bear in mind that in America clinging to these ideas of social stratification is sort of absurd and can result in some pretty twisted ideas about one’s own actual position in life .
In Dylan’s case I think that we have a highly combustible combination of monstrous ideas of self-entitlement (his hauteur a folie de grandeur), drug abuse (both recreational and prescriptive) and garden varietal insanity. Joe is crazy and a megalomaniac certainly, but finally I don’t think Joe murdered Robert. I think Joe loves the role of being that clever guy getting over on the police and protecting Dylan; thusly hoping to bind Dylan to him. (To say that this was a miscalculation would be something of an understatement.) I have actually come to believe that Joe may well have been in bed with Victor when the grunting moaning happened and that when he came down (with Victor staying frightened behind the upstairs door just as he described but attributed to Dylan) he found Dylan in the bathroom having already murdered Robert.
Additionally, I wonder what it is like for Joe to look in the mirror now and concede even to himself that it was all for nothing. The Sparkly Cat has moved on as he was always destined to do. Perhaps only another murder in another place where Dylan does not have Joe to cover for him can cause a resolution in the murder of Robert.
I believe that we will hear about Mr. Ward again and most likely in the context of another crime.
Anna – very interesting thoughts thank you.
It got me to thinking … thanks for that, too. Both Joe and Dylan were reared in the military – a very hierarchical society, to say the least. While Needham was an officer (as are all military physicians), Joe’s father was enlisted.
In many stodgy military circles, nary the twain shall meet. I recall my early days as a naval officer’s spouse when I went out to lunch with an enlisted spouse with whom I had forged a friendship. I was told in no uncertain terms by several officer spouses that this was inappropriate behavior.
Fortunately, I continued to behave inappropriately and have a friend for life.
I wonder if Dylan’s folks were rank conscious?
NOOOKD.
There appears to be a whole line of dazzling french kitty items, including this dazzling cigarette case (please note-cigarettes not included): http://www.cqout.com/item.asp?id=4211490
Oh, btw, they are made in Thailand….
Speaking of Thailand, when did Mr. Ward begin to plan his 2007 sojourn there? Was it before or after the murder? It might be interesting to see when he bought the tickets.
Accordingly, did the murder push him away from fundraising to massage, or was that career progression already under way by August 2, 2006? He was apparently seeing massage clients at night, but who drops their job for a hobby? And, was he seeing those clients at Swann before August 2, 2006, or were his appointments strictly out-calls pre-murder?
When Dylan moved from Equality Virginia to AB Data Ltd., Dylan also began taking night classes in massage therapy (according to the Washington Post). Although Dylan became a licensed massage therapist in DC (and later Florida), it is not clear that he had finished his coursework. The trip to Thailand ostensibly was to attend a further six-week therapy training class.
I resent the fact that at this moment I feel sympathy for these three; each one for a slightly different reason. As a prolific greetings-card writer, I pray I never do anything that would give rise to my cards (sent/received) being made public. My private thoughts/words are not meant for the world; I should always add: “Burn after reading.”
I hope my sympathy soon passes (except that for Victor).
Editors : thank you for your diligent work @ WMRW. Thanks, too, to all the posters for thoughtful comment and to silent readers. I used to think that the trouple woke up every AM wondering if today was the day the police would show up at their doors – to be arrested for murder.
These days I suspect they wake up wondering… what will WMRW disclose today. I agree with all posters.. especially that this is private stuff BUT they chose to get into this arena… you make the bed you sleep in. Can’t have it both ways. No sympathy from me. Well, maybe a little bit for Victor but then I think of the agony that Mrs Wone continues to go through. Swann3 deserve everything they get. Maybe this is even worse than jail. They can have no peace, ever.
After reading these messages from the Trio…I have lost any sense of sympathy or sorrow for any of them! I’m glad that my path in life never crossed their trails…such ego will always bring a person down.
Joe: always with quantity not quality. I’m convinced that the Sparkly Cat was at the check-out counter – he believed he could ‘spin’ anything; the blank card was, well, blank. I have to smile thinking that the Oscar Wilde was one lying around (perhaps purchased by Victor). Singularly focused on keeping Dylan around.
Dylan: tacky but ‘gay’ card, distancing as to “we are sex, not love” in tone, and clearly a ‘congratulations on making partner’ card. Message: I want you when I want you but you’ll never have me so you’ll keep trying.
Victor: so damned sad that Joe was his “prince” and that he clearly defined “their” extended family to NOT include Dylan. I wonder if this was during a “Dylan is distancing” period that Victor was trying to coddle Joe by insisting their family was intact without him.
Doesn’t it seem like Victor would be the one to “save” cards? Surely he got some – maybe just no writing in them except ‘Love, Joe”. I really don’t know how he lives with this crap to this day – the personal and public humiliation is too much to bear.
. . . so Victor gets this Hallmark card from me instead, Bea,
Have You ever loved someone
But knew he didn’t care?
Have you ever felt like crying
But knew you’d get no where?
Have you ever looked into his eyes
And said a little prayer?
Have you ever looked into his hearts
And wished that you were there?
Have you ever felt his heartbeat
When the lights were turned down low?
Have you ever whispered “God, I love You”
But he’ll never let you show?
So do not fall in love, my friend, Victor
It doesn’t pay a dime.
It only causes broken hearts
Yet it happens all the time.
So do not fall in love, my friend, Victor
You’ll hurt before it’s through.
You ought to know, my friend – Victor
Joe was not in love with you.
I’m struck by the Zaborsky anniversary card to Price. Michael Price even rates a mention as being part of the larger family, but there’s no mention at all of Ward.
Yet, four months later, Zaborsky describes Ward to police as family, even though we know he was pulling away at that point. What are we to believe? Ward grew closer or more distant in those intervening four months leading up to August 2?
You can choose your freinds but not family. Did Zaborsky have any choice at all? Doing nothing is still a choice, nonetheless.
Craig,
Maybe JP gave V a sort of ultimatum: JP spending more time with DW, DW getting more status in the “fam,” etc. That’s prob. why V said “We’re working on it” being more equal in that police interview. Maybe an ultimatum from DW spurred it all on: “Give me more attention, more time, etc. or I’m booking.”
It’s interesting that DW worked on behalf of equality with E-VA yet was not an equal in his home life.
Looking back, I see that Victor and Joe became DC registered partners on April 13, 2006. It occurs to me that this act may have led to Dylan pulling back. Perhaps Dylan felt abandoned after losing his tenure at Equality Virginia and the ceremonial aspects of Victor and Joe becoming registered partners (I understand they exchanged rings). Of course, Joe seems to have chafed under the yoke of domesticity.
I wonder if DW knew about JP & V becoming registered partners? JP has his alt thing going on and his rendezvous with S. Hixson and other secret things going on. And what about that timing? DW had “been with us” for four years at that point.
The only thing I could think of is that V’s son —–* born in the month of April two years prior. Maybe they thought of solidifying that “bond” for the children, in case their mothers were unable to care for them at some point or perhaps for “appearances” or financial benefits. Actual commitment, of course, was not the reason.
*Craig’s redact. No biggie but we try and keep the kids out of this as best as possible.
I wonder if Joe and Victor “took the plunge” as a result of the passage of the Domestic Partner Equality Amendments Act in DC which took effect on April 4, 2006. The Act significantly expanded the benefits of registered domestic partnership in enumerated respects, including inheritance, probate, guardianship, and extension of the domestic partner privilege in both civil and criminal actions.
As individuals with a legal interest in equality for gays and lesbians, the passage and effective date of the Act could not have gone unnoticed by Joe and Victor.
But maybe it was just love.
Thanks, Craig. I thought about that just after I posted. Got the info. from a public site, but concur (with the dele).
Sometime after the anniversary, Louis Hinton was arrested for domestic assault on Michael Price (after Louis allegedly discovered that money was missing and apparently blamed Michael). Victor posted the bond for Louis who then gave 1509 Swann Street as his address.
Joe, of course, acted as co-counsel for Louis (how did this get past the conflicts committee at Arent Fox–brother of victim represents defendant), together with Emily Thorne of Arent Fox (who no longer appears on the Arent Fox website–this case appears to be a Bermuda triangle for lawyers). Joe appeared pro hac vice in Maryland since he is not a member of the Maryland bar.
Appearing pro hac vice in Maryland requires the presence of a member of the Maryland bar as co-counsel to supervise. In my experience, the Maryland courts limit the number of pro hac vice appearances. I am not sure I would use up a pro hac vice appearance in Maryland for a domestic assault case that essentially was not prosecuted, presumably because Michael did not want to cooperate in the prosecution.
It’s pretty amazing that JP represented his brother’s partner–the one who allegedly beat up his brother–in a case against him. And then let LH list his (JP’s) address as his (LH’s) own. At the same time, the brother has a key to his house, etc. I won’t throw out the word dysfunctional, since arent’ we all? But the family relationships here is unusual.
Yes, Bea, I agree. If anyone in that house collected mementos from a marriage, one would guess that it would have to have been Victor, the angel of the house. I do wonder if Victor kept a scrapbook, full of valentines and exclamation points. Did he leave it with his dearest Sarah for safe keeping, though?
Just because no cards were entered into evidence doesn’t mean there weren’t any. The prosecutors would only enter into evidence cards that they felt would bolster their case.
True, CFC, but then shouldn’t the defense release those intimate cards and letters received by Victor in 2005 and 2006 to show that all was well, at least on paper, with the unconventional, albeit patriarchal, family at 1509 Swann? Future scholars need the full picture.
“can’t wait to see what the next five years will bring”.
probably not what you expected.
Yes, and his “Prince” turned out to be even shadier than Machiavelli’s!
So, if Dylan was “magic” to Culuket, who, in turn was a “Prince” to Victor, what then was Victor to the other two — chopped liver, perhaps?
. . . a Hallmark Moments, too!
When you take away a life
With the aid of a knife
It is murder
Murder me with your love
Murder me with you lies
Murder with Hallmark cards in a cat pink bow-tie
You commit murder when I look in your eyes
Make no mistake,
Be careful
Asleep or awake!
Murder is unlawful
I had to drive to Baltimore this afternoon for a meeting. On the way, I was listening to WAMU-FM (the local public radio station) doing a short piece on a band called “We Were Pirates.” The band did an acoustic version of a song entitled “The Three of Us.” As I listened, I could only think of Victor:
I loved you,
And you loved him
And I sort of loved him, cause I love everything you love.
The he stopped, stopped loving you.
and glory hallelujah, somehow you start loving me.
Don’t know why I love you, I just do.
I really do.
And it doesn’t do me any good, in fact; it does me bad.
Cause you’re oh so gone, and I’m oh so.. sad.
I love you, and you love me
And you sort of told me, that you love me more than him.
then you stopped, stopped loving me
And lord, won’t you take me? You picked right up loving him.
Don’t know why I love you, I just do.
I really do.
And it doesn’t do me any good, in fact; it does me bad.
Cause you’re oh so gone, and I’m oh so.. sad.
Now it’s just.. the three of us. The names may have changed
but the sorry facts remain the same, I love you and he loves you.
And I’m okay with second best, just love him more and you’ll love me less.
Don’t know why I love you, i just do.
I really do.
And it doesn’t do me any good, in fact; it does me bad.
Cause you’re oh. so. gone, and I’m oh. so.. sad
You can hear a podcast of the song on the WAMU website. With apologies to Denton.
. . . there you have it, what a cute group singing a sad song, you can download to your iTunes . . . another Hallmark Moments for a long w/e
http://www.wewerepiratesmusic.com/music
This could have been passed of as a song about the trouple. . . great find chilaw! Amazing.
I do wonder if their latest DC flat is “a shoebox with airholes and grass clippings — not nearly as nice as 1509 Swann.” Or, is that what they now think of their bungalow in Miami Shores?
Are margarine and Crisco allusions to Dyl’s cooking skills? Or rather, are they allusions to natural personal lubricants? Wasn’t Crisco a favorite personal lubricant for certain urban gay men during the heyday of sexual liberation? Why then would someone in 2005 be referencing Crisco — unless it was an historically-minded joke?
Elizabeth Barrett Browning rocks!! “But we still have a lot of life to live” — you are not kidding, sistah!
“I think it’s good to plan ahead.” Yes, it is, dear, especially if you may be ready to assault and to kill an old college friend.
Where did Mr. Price go for those ten days in March 2006? And, did Mr. Ward accompany him?
“We are both hard-headed and I suppose that is how we endure”: yes, Joe and Dyl, your stubborn refusal to tell everything that you know is both hard-headed and hard-hearted. Yet, thanks to Lynn, you have endured! Kudos … till Brook’s replacement sings!
Yes, Joe and Dyl did help to transform Equality Virginia from an oddity to a political force to be respected. Dyl was an effective fundraiser, the best they ever had. But how does that rise to “greatness” — “the history that you helped to write”? And, why did Mr. Ward leave that job so suddenly in 2006?
Finally, “whatever adventures are next, know that we will always share them together — side by side.” Well, that line certainly may sum up what happened on August 2, 2006. Is that still the case today, however?
Kiss. C.
“Are margarine and Crisco allusions to Dyl’s cooking skills?”
I am not sure. I took this language to be a subtle reference to a certain downstairs roommate’s cooking staples – everything tastes better deep fried in crisco.
“whatever adventures are next, know that we will always share them together — side by side.”
I took this note to be a foreshadowing of two years on marcia’s couch and endless suppers of fancy feast casserole surrounded by legal invoices. Kind of romantic in my interpretation.
“Where did Mr. Price go for those ten days in March 2006?”
No clue. But smart money is not on weight watchers.
Clio, have a fabulous holiday — your star continues to shine in my sky. peace.
Welcome back to the always sparkly SDI. Love to all.
Thanks, SDI, we’ve missed you!
P.S. Can burned steaks be savored just by smearing margarine and/or Crisco on one’s lips? Just askin’.
Somehow, I doubt Crisco or margarine ever touched the food in that house. As for other things…
Perhaps, but why was “moving on to the next challenge” so “bitter-sweet” for the soon-to-be Florida resident? Crisco can smooth over many things, but an abrupt departure from EV must not have been one of them.
Maybe he didn’t rub it in the right places!
Clio,
I took that note from J to D re helping to transform EV as very condescending and a cover for his feeling self-blame for D losing his job. DW is not happy with his new job, likely didn’t want to leave EV. It seems clear his employment there was tied to JP, and when JP’s board term ended, so did “Dyl’s” job there. So JP tries to make up for it all by making it seem as if DW changed the world with his brief tenure there.
Yet, Susan, Joe remained as EV’s legal counsel into early 2007, and he remained a board member during that post-murder time, too. Joe’s tenure as board chair ended in 2006, true, but why did that mean that Dyl had to go? Mr. Ward was actually doing a good job!
Indeed, Dyl left EV rather quickly in the spring of 2006 and at the height of their collective success. After EV’s third Commonwealth dinner, was he canned for allowing too many windbags to bore the assembled donors, or for being in an inappropriate relationship with a board member?
In all seriousness this might be a fruitful line of inquiry for team Wone. It is my own not very privately held belief that Dylan Ward murdered Robert Wone and that there is something very.seriously.wrong with him. Maybe cracks were starting to show at EV and somebody told Joe to get his Sparkly cat the fuck out of there before he made the entire organization look bad (as in fact both Joe and Dylan have subsequently done). I wonder if anyone in that organization would have the guts to speak up now if there were signs evident at that time that something was not what it should be with Mr. Ward.
Yes, “Margarine Lips”, Dyl’s drag or bar name perhaps, may have suffered the onset of depression or drug abuse/use during those years at Swann.
At any rate, Dyana Mason, EV’s former executive director, should be questioned by Covington in reference to any possible personnel issues in reference to Mr. Ward.
I’ve seen a few references to a grant that JP was “instrumental” in obtaining for EV and that allowed EV to hire Ward. Perhaps the grant was not renewed?
CFC, that grant may have been from the Gill Foundation, which underwrites many LGBT causes and initiatives.
Nevertheless, by 2006, Dyl was raising enough money to cover his salary and much more; even if that seed money was not renewed, his (rather surprising) momentum in getting new donors was sorely needed to oppose the dreadful marriage referendum in Virginia that fall. Why then did “Margarine Lips” leave EV so suddenly?
It’s interesting that in this motion from DW’s attys there’s no mention of JP securing the E-VA job for DW. Also, they were looking to buy a condo at least a year after RW’s murder. Hadn’t they already sent out their fundraising appeals to friends stating that they were “liquidating all assets”? And the motion makes it seem purely coincidental that DW went to work in S. Florida and JP and VZ ended up buying a condo. down there.
http://legaltimes.typepad.com/files/defendants-motion-for-pretrial-release.pdf
I seem to recall that Ward’s departure from EV coincided with the expiration of a grant. A grant which Price may have secured. And did I read that Price may also have had a hand in Ward going to work @ AB Data?
According to this MetroWeekly article, JP was instrumental in securing the EV grant. Not sure about AB Data.
http://www.metroweekly.com/news/?ak=2253
Yes, according to this Paul Duggan Post article
“That spring, when Price’s term as board chairman ended, Ward left the gay-rights organization and took an office job three blocks from the townhouse. With a recommendation from Equality Virginia (specifically from Price), he was hired by A.B. Data Ltd. to help solicit donations for the company’s clients, mainly progressive nonprofit groups. After work, he attended massage classes.”
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/05/31/AR2009053102510.html
http://consulting.abdata.com/contact.html
18th and Swann, west 3 blocks, name is long gone
I forgot where read it but someone posted earlier, perhaps chilaw79 in JP VCB 2of3, that during mid interview and while JP was by himself, JP mumbled “Victor, Victor.” Does it mean anything to you if, in fact, he did say that? I wanted to read what was on his mind but could not penetrate it.
If Culuket indeed said that, then it may have been his guilty conscience or perhaps a bit of paranoia emerging — Joe may have been worried about Victor’s stance on this enveloping mess and what the marketing executive might do next, after all. Mr. Price expressed concern about Dyl to the cops, but it was and is Victor who could do them all in.
> it was and is Victor who could do them all in.
If so, Victor had really better drop the rosy glasses and watch his back. I wonder if he’s gotten it through his head that he is now the only thing whose continued existence threatens a murderer/murderers with life in jail. The relationship that used to be? That was then, this is now.
In his place, I would be jumpy as hell.
It is jumpy for Victor. If he “did them all in,” he would lose the bond with his partner and the 3rd. Hell . . . ya know, I find this case is so complicated because people make it so.
Seems to me there will never be the ending of it!
All very interesting lines of thought re the fraught relationships at Swann St. during the summer of ’06. Does anyone else find Victor’s messages somewhat threatening? Certainly not in a physical sense, but perhaps setting an ultimatum, a warning to Joe that unless he mends his ways, a messy break-up is in the offing – that he could find himself living in a “shoebox” eating grass clippings rather than the luxurious (jointly-owned) Swann St. abode dining on grilled steaks – that his behaviour risks a major break in the family (fathers, sons, mothers) relationships – that if the ‘marriage’ doesn’t improve, it’s not going to last until the next anniversary, thus Joe had better start (and/or Victor has already started) planning ahead.
Victor sounds to me like the typical wronged spouse: I’ll take the house, the kids, and put you in the poorhouse. And, oh by the way, as regard your little brother, don’t forget that I know where all the ‘bodies’ are buried.
Joe may have been facing the loss of both his sexual obsession and his financial security. Dylan is clearly pulling away (perhaps, as Susan posits, having issued an ultimatum of his own) and Victor is threatening ‘divorce.’
Does anyone know whether Joe and Victor had a cohabitation agreement?
Yes, Victor apparently was passive aggressive to the extreme, burning the steaks, watering the plants, and then pouting upstairs about the cable. So, Jeana’s reading seems the most plausible, given the other unfortunate happenings in the house.
Many gay couples of a certain age and class have partnership or cohabitation agreements that lay out power of attorney or power of medical choices, among other things. So that is a good question, Jeana. I will add: Did all three have wills? Even if so, has Dyl been cut off by both Needham and Joe?
So, Joe identified in some way with Oscar Wilde, even before the murder and scandal. He saw himself, then, perhaps, in early 2006 as some kind of celebrity or wit destined to be persecuted for “the love that dare not speak its name”? Priceless!
Yet, then again, Joe’s own middle-aged “Bosie” may have gotten “Mr. Partner” into serious trouble here. “Bosie” ended up being a waiter in Chicago during the 1920s; Dyl could have a similar fate during the 2020s. In general, though, thanks to Lynn, we’ll never get a Ballad from Reading Gaol from any of the Swann Street Three — that’s “cold comfort”, indeed.
While I would not cite Wikipedia in a legal brief, the following portion of the entry on Oscar Wilde struck a chord with me:
Soon his public and private lives had become sharply divided, in De Profundis he wrote to Douglas that “It was like feasting with panthers; the danger was half the excitement …”
“Feasting with (Pink?) Panthers” — Victor and Aunt Marcia, I think, may have been less than excited at that prospect.
“The danger was half the excitement” — yes, that desire for a increasingly “wild and crazy” scene may have driven at least two of the three over the edge.
Bruce and Gloria:
Rather than drag you guys back to August 26th, thought I would post here.
Bruce: You’re so right. When I wanted to do the survey several months ago, the Ninja Assassin Intruders were on the list. Yes, Michael belongs on the list as well.
Gloria: Could really use your espanol in negotiating with the merchants. They are starting $20 items you hope to get at $10 for $175. A bit challenging.
Somehow I missed the June 29th survey. I left for Ptown on June 28th and was all over the blog as we approached the verdict and thereafter. I was the one who had the evidently absurd idea to pursue the prosecution for blowing the case. Seasoned posters talked me out of it.
I kinda remember the survey not exactly asking, “Who done it?” but the questions you mentioned are close. I will revisit the posting upon my return. However, as I mentioned earlier, I bet you dollars to donuts (only cops bet donuts) that our readers opinions have changed since then.
Oddly, it seems every week I arrive at a new scenario through the readings of this blog.
Four years ago, I thought all 3 were intimately involved. Then I thought it was Dylan. Then I thought it was Dylan and Joe. Lately I’ve come to believe it was Joe.
But I’m certain with the next Ninja Assassin Intruder argument, I’ll probably buy in.
You’re right; the survey questions did not differentiate among the defendants specifically. Of course, most of us guessed wrong anyway so it’s moot.
Two suggestions: Repeat the phrase: “que chiste” (“what a joke!”) after every price given, until the 5th price quoted. Then say, “bien.” Or treat a local Peace Corps Volunteer there in Honduras to a good meal and get insider tips on where and how to get fair prices. Mientras, ten cuidado (meanwhile, be careful).
in the movie Karla, Karla like Victor refers to her man(Paul Bernardo) as my Prince and the rest of the things she did for him is history
In what ways, then, was Joe a Prince to Victor in March 2006? In what ways, then, was he a frog to Victor at that time? For their anniversary in March 2011, will Victor deem his no-longer-Mr.-Partner as a Prince, or as a frog, or, maybe, as a frog in Prince (or the artist formerly known as Prince’s) clothing? He could be, in family terms, the lawyer formerly known as Prince.
Somehow, though, I don’t think that they’ll be partying (yet)like it’s 1999, a year before that first date!
I think it would be interesting to see the cards/emails they sent each other after August 3rd, 2006. In some ways, this would actually give us more insight into their characters. Did they still commemorate special moments with Hallmark tidings? Did they still think exchanging cards was important in the grand scheme of things after this all went down? I don’t think Hallmark makes a “Our lives are ruined forever, but hey, at least we still have each other” card, but it would be interesting to see what types of written sentiment they selected for each other afterward.
I guess in general actually, I wish we had more insight into how their interpersonal relationships changed after that night. I know DW has since left the other two, but if memory serves, he stayed around for quite awhile. I wonder if the same things that used to be important between them remained important, or if the entire dynamic between them all shifted to something totally different.
As late as the March 12, 2010 status hearing, Joe and Victor were reportedly still wearing their committment rings. I guess that they wore them through the first trial: does anyone know for sure?
So, Victor and Joe are most probably still united together, and that’s what Victor
desperately wanted in March 2006. Dyl has rotated out of the picture: check off another one of Victor’s goals. Yet, despite possibly losing Sarah, the Family has stayed intact. Mr. Zaborsky has become Mr. Partner again, even if he does not do Crisco, and he (secretly) may like it.
Clio, don’t you think “Dyl” is in the picture forever and ever now? They are together now until the trial in 2011. And together at least psychically whether any or all had a role in the murder, they went through the trials and tribulations together. And it seems they are covering up some thing or things together (cleaning up blood convo. with T. Ragone, Mercedes meeting and knife conversation with S. Hixson, Catch 22 email) which binds them. And V and D were reportedly sitting next to each other most of the time at the trial (probably by design, but still). So maybe they aren’t a trouple, anymore, but it seems like they were two doubles in reality.
Yes, Susan, Dyl remains in the picture, but not as rival to V. That’s why Mr. Ward and Mr. Zaborsky can be seemingly so chummy now: they’re not competing for/over the same man! It’s now the sisterhood of “martyrdom” that bonds them together and to Mr. Price.
Both Victor and Dyl probably should watch their backs, though, as Culuket will eventually leave them both — once he gets the chance — for something a little younger and cuter. It’s just that this “very active” investigation has delayed the inevitable.
It is hard to see how all of that information does not come in during the civil trial in some form. There is no privilege that attaches to conversations between Joe and Victor in the presence of others. While it is possible one or more of the defendants will claim the privilege against self-incrimination, this is made more difficult by the fact the defendants all were acquitted of obstruction of justice, tampering with evidence, and conspiracy. As a result, if they take the Fifth, a jury (or judge) could make a negative inference (i.e., one or more of the defendants is concerned about potential criminal charges related to some other crime, such as assault or some type of homicide). Tara Ragone, Scott Hixson, and Sarah Morgan already have testified (and I do not see either one of them refusing to answer on the grounds of self-incrimination).
Just a broken record here, but I hope that Covington breaks the spousal privilege and gets all the Victor-Joe communications.
An idle thought here, but I was wondering what the impact of a change in residence from DC to Florida might mean for purposes of domestic partner privilege since Florida does not recognize domestic partnerships (except for very limited purposes). If Florida does not recognize a DC domestic partnership, does it have any impact on the assertion of privilege in DC Superior Court litigation (especially if the privilege is asserted as to a communication made in DC)? What impact, if any, results from Joe’s interview assertion he is married to Dylan?
It is worth mentioning that the spousal privilege does not extend to acts, only communications. If you see your husband plunge a knife into a house guest, you are required to testify as to what you saw, but you are not required to testify if your husband tells you he stabbed the house guest (unless another person was present when the statement was made, abrogating the privilege).
My research shows that there is a good argument that ALL of the spousal privilege may have been breached simply through use of the company email – that others could and DID see the emails in the investigation and likely in Arent Fox firing Joe’s ass. The equivalent form of old school communication would be that of sending a postcard – no privacy expected or privacy extended.
I think their bands were on during the trial and also recall counsel sitting between those two throughout, Veronica Jennings I think.
Tune in tomorrow for more of the Anacostia Dialogues.
For Price, seeing Zaborsky wearing that committment ring, means that Zaborsky isn’t going to be sending him to jail – for now. It means that Zaborsky won’t reveal what he knows about the death of Robert Wone while he’s wearing that ring. Any crack in that relationship could be catostrophic for Price and Ward.
Meanwhile, Zaborsky should always test the brakes on his car before he drives anywhere. If they go on vacation, he’d better not stand near the edge of a cliff nor stand near the rail of a cruise ship.
If you look at Aug. 2, 2006 and leave R. Wone and his murder out of the equation, there’s a lot going on that night, a lot that could cause many tensions. It’s been written before, but it’s something I come back to:
-M. Price for the first time missing his phlebotomy class. He’s already in Silver Spring, not too far from where his class was held. Why miss over 2 hrs of class? Visiting the kids? He could do that the next day–didn’t he work evenings?
-VZ changing travel plans, coming home early, unannounced until the last minute and then only “half unpacked” runs off to the gym to find JP and misses him? Didn’t he call his cell? We see how attached JP is to his Blackberry. Wouldn’t he wait, if he was leaving the gym and saw a call from VZ? We know VZ had a cell too (presumably it was in his possession at this hour and not with JP)
-Sarah Morgan staying overnight at a friend to watch TV and leaving at 6. Was it dinner too? Wouldn’t that merit a mention? Wouldn’t it be pretty much foremost–Dinner and TV?
–Sarah Morgan and D. Ward, missing each other 6-6:30? True, not true?
–Burnt steaks, faulty plumbing, the cable out.
It seems like a pretty crappy night. And I wonder if DW and JP weren’t expecting some alone time before VZ’s unceremonious early arrival and failed chasing down of JP at the gym. And I wonder if they hadn’t weren’t feeling sexually frustrated at that point. They had to plan their rendezvous around VZ’s absences, apparently. Or maybe just with a third. But maybe a third was scheduled for that evening. Maybe the third had to be cancelled. And then maybe they thought……
Don’t forget, Susan, that the plants needed watering and that the kitchen needed cleaning and that Victor and Joe had just missed epochal events in their children’s lives and that Project Runway was on. But, are those enough stressors to make you kill? No, of course … unless street drugs are added to the picture!
Dear old Scott would have been seemingly available for a third, but perhaps not the kind of third that Culuket had in mind.
I wonder if, pre-murder, Victor knew that Joe and Dyl were doing “thirds”, or if he knew that Dyl had evening massage clients. My guess is: no.
I agree, Clio. I think V prob. had no clue about the thirds and alt.com, etc. But I’m sure with all those early evening stressors, RW coming at night just added to the churning frustrations, tensions, etc.
Still wonder if a fifth person was present that night.
Perhaps, Susan, Scott decided to stop by for a late-night round of canasta, only to find that no one was in the mood to play cards that evening. For his timely thoughtfulness, however, he may have gotten a brand-new camera that the fashionable set at Swann had recommended he use.
Or, Uncle Michael just happened to be passing through the City, dropped in for a chat, and in the process was given some frightfully stained materials to discard. One might turn to drugs, or one might start a catfight at a funeral, after being treated so strangely.
I wonder if Scott also had a set of keys to Swann Street. If Scott knew Victor and Joe for years, this would not surprise me.
With these cards we now have handwriting samples from all three. Does anyone on this blog know how to analyze handwriting? It seems that the samples could provide insight into the three personalities and their states of mind at the times the cards were written.
For example, I know that the slant of writing is supposed to be indicative of emotional aspects of one’s personality. A slant to the right (Victor)indicates someone who is warm, caring and emotional. A vertical slant (Joe) suggests that the person’s head rules more than his heart. A backward slant (Dylan) is indicative of a person who keeps emotions firmly in check, and is emotionally cold or indifferent. That simple analysis seems consistent with what we know about all three of them. Imagine what a handwriting expert could find!
As an observation – I was struck by the fact that in three of the five cards the writer used a smiley face to punctuate what was written. Maybe that doesn’t have any significance, but it still struck me as odd.
It would be interesting to know something about people’s reactions to the cards sent from Price to Ward.
Did Ward think the cards were nothing more than Price trying to manipulate him? Were they proudly displayed on Ward’s desk or were they stuffed in a drawer where Zaborsky wouldn’t see them? Did Ward ever show them to Sarah Morgan? If they were hidden from Zaborsky, was it like a slap across the face when he read them while going over trial preparations in a law office?
When Zaborsky’s parents see things like this, do they keep silent or do they try to convince their son to wake up and face reality?
Good questions, Bill 2. I will add these: Did flowers and/or chocolates (or even a stick of margarine) accompany these cards? If so, what kind of arrangements and flavors were considered by the giver as complementary? For Joe, was it white roses for Victor and red roses for Dyl?
Usually, too, the greeting card introduces/beckons a gift or gifts: what kinds of gifts did the three exchange between themselves on celebratory and/or commemorative occasions?
Interesting, intriguing, thought-provoking questions every one, but who murdered Robert Wone?
Editors – thanks for posting these. I still cannot get over the “sparkly cat”. LOL.