Birthday Boy

What Do You Give The Man Who Has…

Dylan Ward, or as he’s known to those in the DC criminal justice system and at Superior Court as CF1-026996, celebrates his 39th birthday today. 

There was no way we’d  let this day go by without sharing.  We’re sometimes tardy, but we never forget.  39 years old;  the Jack Benny birthday.  Ah, youth…  Two of us here at have socks older than that.


How may the birthday boy mark the occasion?  Will he, Joe and Victor again celebrate at Halo like in May of 2007, 10 months after Robert Wone’s brutal murder? 

We don’t think they’ll be at Rehoboth for the long weekend.  A trip across state lines would require the them to notify the DC Court’s Pretrial Services for a trip to Delaware.


 Judge Frederick Weisberg kicked off the festivities early on Friday and gave Dylan perhaps the best gift of all: another 350 days of freedom.

Perhaps the Washington Post will check in at some point with a belated gift.  It’s not just everyone who gets treatment in there;  that’s an honor that has to be earned and maybe Dylan will get a new clipping for his scrapbook.  The Post did give small ink on the trial date being set in yesterday’s edition: a 100-word brief on page 3 of the Metro section.

Some say that any ink is good ink, and Wilde once remarked that,  “The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.”   Well, people seem to be talking now.  Everyone except of course for Joe, Victor and our birthday boy.

What other presents might be in store for the birthday boy?  Feel free to offer additional suggestions.

From Joe and Victor:  Continued silence,  a replacement cutlery set, ear plugs so his sleep isn’t disturbed by commotion,  replacement of his library of S&M manuals that were confiscated by police, replacements for all those sex toys that were confiscated by police.

From Schertler & Onorato: A deep discount on the next 12 months of legal bills.

From Assistant US Attorney Glenn Kirchner: A bulls-eye.

From the DC MPD: More lethargy and amateurish investigative work.

From Sarah Morgan:  More thanks for coming between her longtime friend Victor and his domestic partner Joe.

From the gang at Miami Shores:  Promises to book more massages.  They’ll call you, honest.

From  The run of the house.

From the American Library Association:  A long overdue Caldecott Medal for Naughty Jack.

From his local pharmacy: Discounts on sleeping pills and anti-depressants.

From his friends and family: Continued contributions to the legal defense fund.

And lastly, from the jury that will hear your case:  Rapt attention and their civic responsibility to judge your fairly.

We will soon mark the birthday of a man that Dylan knew very well.  A man who celebrated his 30th birthday at the home of Joe and Victor and which Dylan may also have attended.  A man whose life was cut short having been butchered just a few feet away from where Dylan allegedly slept on that August night in 2006. 

A man who has brought us all here today.


22 comments for “Birthday Boy

  1. Lance
    05/24/2009 at 12:42 PM

    From the editors and commenters at WMRW: some small degree of respect and human decency? Probably too much for even a birthday boy to ask for.

  2. Bea
    05/24/2009 at 1:38 PM

    A small degree of respect and human decency was given, Lance. No one called him a criminal, let alone a murderer.

    Nothing stops you from giving him all the hugs you want – sadly, Kathy Wone can’t hug Robert, though.

  3. CDinDC
    05/24/2009 at 2:11 PM

    Lance, I baked a cake for Dylan.

    It has a file in it.

  4. L.
    05/24/2009 at 2:18 PM

    39 is youth? In the gay world?

    I don’t think so.

    She old.

  5. 05/24/2009 at 8:40 PM

    how about the gift of confidence, motivation, contentment, ambition, self control, integrity, a steady job, a healthy relationship, clean urine samples, a career, a cure for the blues, a home of ones own, and yes, replacement enema’s for those that the police confiscated. are any of these things of use, mr. ward?

    • CDinDC
      05/24/2009 at 11:35 PM

      That might be hard to fit in a cake, SDI.

  6. 05/24/2009 at 9:01 PM

    Craig, great work.

    Can anyone, Needham included, afford 2 attorneys to defend a 2 month big-city trial? just read the post blurb and bet the defense bills get into the six figures very quickly.

  7. Craig
    05/24/2009 at 10:46 PM

    SDI – In the legal defense fund letter linked above Joe says they’d already run up $150,000 with the Four Horsemen. That was 6 months ago.

    Now add another 12 months just to get them to trial. Once that begins the meter really starts to run, for 2 months straight. And then there’s the pricey experts they’ll need to beat up Glenn Kirschner’s evidence, or whatever is left of it after the MPD’s ham handed work.

    Then, depending which way things go next summer, an appeal.

    When that dust settles, Ben Razi zeros in to drop the $20 megaton civil case on them.

    Joe is quoted in the letter saying the attorneys estimated it would, “run into the hundreds of thousands of dollars.” Was be being optimistic?

    • CDinDC
      05/24/2009 at 11:37 PM

      2nd mortgage, anyone?

      2nd mortgage, everyone??

  8. Bea
    05/24/2009 at 11:44 PM

    With experts and with Connolly (Victor’s attorney) having to look at separating them (to cover his own ass if nothing else, malpractice-wise), the three are going to be paying $1.5M + if it goes to trial(s). Joe’s ego alone is costing them money as he’s undoubtedly double-checking everything and wasting a lot of lawyer’s time on the phone/in meetings.

  9. Bea
    05/24/2009 at 11:47 PM

    Maybe Dylan should try to get a deal by selling Joe down the river. If he’s less culpable, even a little, and Joe is the definitive ringleader, crazier things have happened. He’d likely do some jail time, but if Joe was calling the shots and Dylan was “under the influence” then if he fingers Joe as “murderer” then Victor’s attorney would be in his face to turn as well. My guess is that if either Dylan or Victor was the most culpable, Joe’d have sung by now. And cast the made-for-TV movie he made sure to get a producer credit for.

    • SheKnowsSomething
      05/25/2009 at 5:27 PM


      I agree with some parts of your post. If Dylan were the most culpable member here, I believe either Joe or Victor would have told by now.

      • Bea
        05/25/2009 at 7:35 PM

        Which seems to me to leave Joe. I know you intimated that possibly Victor had come in to see the “party” and sunk the knife in Robert’s chest, but human nature tells me that the sleeping guy is the least likely to do harm. Unless you know something, it seems far more likely that Joe decided to “save the day” by killing Robert. Pure speculation, I realize and freely admit.

        It is VERY interesting, however, that if you have some knowledge of the trio and think that if Dylan had been the most culpable that Joe and Victor would’ve sold him down the river. Would love to know more.

        • SheKnowsSomething
          05/25/2009 at 11:44 PM


          Unfortunately, I don’t have any special trouple knowledge that leads me to think Dylan is the least culpable; just a gut feeling about Joe and Victor and thier crazy decisions. If Dylan were the mastermind and the murderer, I can’t see Joe or Victor risking jail time, Joe’s partnership at Arent Fox, and above all else, their status as A-List gays (!) in order to save the add-on boyfriend.

          • Bea
            05/26/2009 at 3:41 PM

            That makes sense to me.

          • ladydetective
            05/26/2009 at 4:17 PM

            Unless, of course, Joe is in love with Dylan. So the relationship works out — Joe loves Victor, but is in love with Dylan.

            • Bea
              05/26/2009 at 4:58 PM

              That’s possible (SheKnows?) – also, there is Joe’s ego in the mix, enjoying the cat-and-mouse with the prosecutor. But even with that, I don’t see him giving up his law partnership and A-list gay (!) status for that, as SheKnows mentioned.

  10. Nelly
    05/25/2009 at 11:25 AM

    Haha. In such a sad situation, this post almost made me laugh out loud. I don’t believe that Dylan knew Robert very well. He was Joe’s old pal from college. Dylan seems like the third wheel who came into the picture a few years before Robert was killed. And Dylan’s best birthday gift was the judge’s gift of a trial date so far down the road. More months of freedom for him; hurray!

  11. Craig
    05/25/2009 at 1:21 PM

    And by the time Dylan’s next birthday rolls around, he’ll be two weeks into the trial.

  12. Corgivet
    05/25/2009 at 8:08 PM

    Would it be too much to wish Dylan gets a moral compass and a conscience for his birthday?

  13. 05/25/2009 at 11:41 PM

    By now, all Dylan really wants is his knife back. And to wake up from his horrific dream where strangely misplaced it.

  14. JusticeForRobert
    05/26/2009 at 11:55 PM

    If I could give Dylan anything, it would be the gift of truth. That may be the one and only thing that will ever truly set him free.

Comments are closed.